I’ve been wondering whether I should share this or not. Obviously, I decided to SHARE IT.
Over the years – through many years of blogging now – I’ve realized that when I wonder if I should share something, that’s really the Universe telling me that there is something that really needs to be said & its going to resonate really well with my tribe.
So, I should just share it. I’ve learned: when it feels scary, just do it because it always resonates & ends up being a really popular blog post b/c so many others are feeling the same or will totally get it. It always polarizes some people too, and that’s OK because I realize every time I do that, I make my tribe more pure. It becomes more a tribe that really resonates with ME. Those that don’t vibe with what I’m saying naturally drop off & leave. That’s OK that we disagree. It just means that they shouldn’t be following me & should be following someone else or beating their own drum. 😉
Yeah, I’m always saying I’m on a mission to bust out of the usual Holistic practitioner/Light Worker mindset of giving everything away & not giving value to what you do & being soft, meek & bad at business. But even I still get sucked in to some of that brainwashing within our community that is going on. And I don’t like it! Our community has been fed TOTAL BULLSCHIST that we arent’ worthy of making good money, of being good at business, of being good marketers & that we shouldn’t expect people to value our time. *gasp!* Imagine that! Yes, I call TOTAL BULLSCHIST ON THAT CRAP!!
Where does this mentality come from that you can’t be a good spiritual person & biz-savvy at the same time? But, as much as I buck it, it is still nipping at my heels. I’m admitting that to you now. It’s why I’ve held back little parts who I am & what I’m good at from you. But no longer will.
So here’s where my head is at today:
Sometimes, I feel like I’m letting people down or not meeting their expectations as far as being a crystal teacher/expert. I do realize I’m a leader in the crystal industry, that I have a lot of followers – leader in that sense. I have a lot of online followers. I have a best-selling book on Amazon on crystal grids. But I feel like sometimes when I:
- speak about crystals
- teach about crystals
- talk about crystals
- take pictures about crystals
- blog about crystals
- do videos about crystals
…I feel like sometimes I’m not meeting people’s expectations of what a crystal “guru” should be like.
For instance, I feel like people think I should be like Doreen Virtue. I look up to Doreen Virtue so very much. I love her. She is like the Stevie Nicks of Fairies to me, and I love all that stuff.
As much as I love Stevie Nicks & Doreen Virtue, I’m not naturally like them. I’ve never really tried to be like them, look like them, act like them, or anything like that. BUT…as a kid I thought looking/dressing like Kira of the film Xanadu was the ULTIMATE & I created a Dungeons & Dragons character (back when you used to play with books & dice) that I drew to look just like her!
I also don’t speak with that real soft airy-fairy tone that my favorite therapist does all the time. (It naturally relaxes me.) Sometimes, I think peeps expect that of a crystal teacher too. Even I sometimes have that expectation!
SIDE NOTE: I do speak that way during meditation recordings, because it helps me get into a meditative state, and I know it helps many of you get into a meditative state. That’s where I am energetically when I’m doing meditation.
But I’m not like that naturally. Not at all! I get really passionate. I get really excited. I hoot & holler, and I call people funky names – like Jelly Beans and Chickpeas and all kind of things like that – that might be quite be annoying to some people.
I don’t dress in flowy saris & shawls, as much as I love that or run around in leg warmers…
But, I do take advantage of having a great excuse to wear leg warmers when I go to barre class *chuckles*.
I also don’t have guides that speak to me. I don’t know what that’s like. Whatever info I get or download…it came from me (I think). My friend Michelle, a crystal guru extraordinaire in her own right,…she gets messages from guides all the time. I’m so jelly! She does crystal healings, channels messages, downloads gem elixir recipes…the whole she-bang! It’s so flippin’ inspiring. She’s amazing!! But I don’t do that.
As much as I would love to naturally organically exude all that – I don’t.
I’ve never been one to force myself to do something that I’m not. I just am me.
So, sometimes I just wonder if I’m not living up to what people expect of me. Then that sometimes makes me wonder– and here I’m totally being vulnerable here, and letting you know what my feelings are & really what goes through my mind…If people download my stuff, sign up for my newsletter, read my blog, see this girl/lady sitting here:
- in her geeky science shirts– I get really into science (so into science)
- really passionate about physics
- really passionate about Star Wars *snicker*
- really passionate about scientific stuff as it relates to the metaphysical realm
- really passionate about people who get really passionate about that kind of stuff, like Nassim Haramein, Jason Silva, Russel Brand
…I get really, really into that stuff. And I speak in very scientific terms sometimes w/o realizing it…what do those people make of me??? I know I shouldn’t care…and most of the time I don’t, but these thoughts do come up.
I don’t speak softly, filming myself in ethereal soft light, doing these really elaborate gorgeous body layouts of crystals on people, or these really elaborate, complicated, gorgeous, sacred, geometric crystal grids. AS MUCH AS I FREAKIN’ LOVE ALL THAT STUFF!!!!
Like this one…
As much as I consider myself a crystal grid expert, I don’t do that. I’ve always said I’m very practical & I lean towards simplicity & working the crystals into my everyday life easily. I know that sort of thing naturally exudes out of some people. But not me.
So I wonder if people go,
“Well, she’s not the real deal because she doesn’t do that. She’s not really airy fairy. She’s not really naturally, flowy sari-sportin’, shawl-wearing, elaborate-complicated-crystal-grid-building, guides whispering in her ear, softly spoken crystal guru lady. So, she’s not the real thing.”
Why don’t I do these things? B/c it just ain’t me.
Here’s the other thing too.
I am really naturally good at understanding online biz & marketing, which is great for my sacred crystal biz. And that really throws people when I start going on & on about that stuffs. THROWS THEM FOR A LOOP!
I’ve had people totally turn on me b/c I was so good at it. It turned them off. Figured I must not really know what I’m doing with the crystals b/c I’m so good with the marketing stuff or that I’m a complete fraud.
I’m not trying to brag here. I’m being very vulnerable & talking about something that I’ve held back from you b/c it makes me uncomfortable. And as I said before, that’s the Universe’s signal to me to SHARE IT!
I understand marketing really well. I love reading about it. I love interpreting data & easily see patterns in social media; probably because this has a lot to do with science. I understand variables & how they work. I understand science very well and that’s what online marketing really truly is about. Marketing IS science so it makes complete sense to me. Science is my whole approach to just about anything…including crystal healing.
So, I’m admitting to you now, I have hidden parts of myself on that for fear of more of this sort of back-lash:
“Well, look at her, just totally figuring out the inner workings of how to blow up a Facebook page over 200,000 people. She’s a fake. She’s too good at business & marketing. Bah, humbug!”
Yeah, as stupid as it sounds to really type that out, I dealt with that from some peeps. And you know what? I’m glad those people think that (& hopefully unfollowed me) b/c they don’t belong in my tribe. We don’t resonate. End of story.
I remember when I first heard about the Internet in 1995 or ’96, & the concept of having an online presence; it sparked something in my belly. It so intrigued me. I didn’t know what I would be doing later on with it, but I just knew; wow, the possibilities – the things that were going on in my brain at the time. I was just getting really into spirituality at the time – I just knew that somehow that was going to align with my path at some point. I didn’t know I’d have a sacred crystal biz doing this, but I knew something BIG was going to blow up for the world!
So, hey, this is me. Crystal geek, science geek. I get off on science speak, crystals & online biz. You want to talk physics? You want to talk Tesla and Einstein and crystals? I’m here with you. I am totally here with you. I’m going to hoot it up. I’m just going to get so freakin’ excited over this schist, that it will blow your mind!!!!
We can have philosophical rants, & talk sacred crystal biz & have mature debates on all this stuff. I absolutely love it, and if that totally blows your groove on what a “crystal expert guru” is, then – I’m not your gal.
What I’m going to do is this: I’m going to stop doubting myself.
I’m an individual, which means I have a separate & slightly different vibrational frequency than everyone else, as do you. So that may allow me to see biz & marketing & crystal loving & light-working… all that stuff as one & the same. It’s understanding patterns, lattices, matrices, vibrational frequencies. Yeah, maybe I see them a little bit differently than everyone else.
I understand that most people who are really, really, really into crystals & crystal healing usually don’t ALSO understand social media data & metrics. But I do. And there is nothing wrong with me & nothing to HIDE.
You know I love me a good Oprah quote!:
So here I am. I’m coming out to you. I’m telling you this is me.
There it is.
It’s a BIG part of the reason why my sacred crystal biz is as successful as it is. This is my calling, my life purpose is & what I was put here on mama Earth to do. I harmonized perfectly with what my calling is. I tapped into it with ease b/c I didn’t resist it & followed what I was good at. It’s resonating, and of course it’s unfolding perfectly. Again, I’m not telling you all this to toot my own horn. I’m just not going to hide that part or shrink back from it or keep myself small with it any longer. This is me letting you all see my true self.
Me telling you, that we ARE worthy of making good money, of being good at business, of being good marketers & that we should expect people to value our time just as much as anyone else’s. This is me encouraging you to say who cares!! I want you to know that your heart is beautiful & your desires & passions are divinely inspired. Let them SHINE!!!
I am just ME. This is all of me, sitting here now in my Princess Leia t-shirt, wearing my labradorite ring, and really into crystals, really into Breaking Bad, really into science, really into social media metrics data, really into marketing. Really into rockin’ out my Sacred Crystal Biz!