It’s not for everybody

Hibiscus Moon Crystal Healer, energy work, love 66 Comments

Another uncomfy blog post for me, this one. But I’m gonna write it anyway.

So, this world of being a lightworker…it’s not meant for everyone.


And there’s no judgment on my part on you if you’re not cut out for it yourself & I’m certainly not perfect on this path.

DISCLAIMER: I’m taking a risk here again…but I feel it needs to be addressed. I am not looking to start a firestorm here at all but just state my opinion. It doesn’t mean that my opinion is the best 1 or the only 1, its just mine, that’s all.

PLEASE NOTE: Flaming will not be tolerated here. This is a negativity-free zone. (Although I enjoy a healthy & mature debate be forewarned that any nasty, negative or demeaning comments here on MY BLOG will be promptly deleted so don’t waste your energy…go post it on your own blog.)

Are You Cut Out To Be a Lightworker?

If you don’t have a good handle or control over your emotions, over checking yourself before you react then…you may not be ready to go out there & be a teacher, be a healer, spread light. I feel that you need to remember to be in heart center as much as you possibly can.♥

I was recently reminded of this quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. (a true light worker):

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

The sentiment & the point behind that quote is so needed in today’s world & more people need to learn this & I need to remember it more often.

So, if someone’s doing something that you absolutely detest, that you abhor, that you spend your time & energy trying to get rid of it…it’s a cause that you champion & you throw money at it & you donate time to it…because you really can’t stand it: you know…like children in the sex slave industry or dolphins being abused & forced to perform in shows and, and, and…my goodness it can go on & on & on….HOW DO YOU REACT TOWARDS THEM?

Some of us get extremely passionate about things like that. Rightly so! And it’s great & wonderful & needed to be passionate about it, because we need people like you to be passionate about it, in order to get everybody aware, then riled up & get rid of it!

But if you’re going to be passionate & hateful…full of anger about it: what do you think you’re going to do to the people that are making you angry, the people that are doing things that you feel are wrong, that are making this hate swell up in you?

You’re going to amplify it

love hateHate will beget more hate.

Anger will beget more anger.

You getting dark about it is going to get them darker about it. You’re not going to get them to learn anything! See your side? Now, you’ve blinded them! What’s worse? You’re not going to change anything. You’re just putting more anger into the world.

Now, think about it: if you’re able to, have the wisdom & control to suppress that anger & that hate & approach it with love…as passionate as you are about that topic, whatever it is…

The person that’s causing that anger to develop inside you might actually listen. They might learn something from you & the seed of a change in perspective might get planted.

I feel that’s the best way. That’s your best bet in getting them to listen & to learn & to change things for the better.

Like I said before, I am not perfect in this, but it’s something I strive for & that I am aware of.

Some of you don’t agree with this at all. And that’s OK. Some may even get mad at me for saying it. (But please don’t get angry here as this is my home & keep it very clean).

So now, think about how it would be if you were to approach that person or the topic in general..that person or topic that is doing the wrong towards that thing that you’re passionate about…but approach it with love.

Love will change things, Sweet Pea.

Take Responsibility

So in being a lightworker…this is a quote from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor that I feel is so appropriate for us to remember:

“Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.”


This is on my wall in front of me right now. This message is literally in my face today in many ways. It’s our mantra here @ HMCA & we take it very seriously. ❤

I take that quote a little further & say “Please be responsible for the energy you bring into any transaction“. Here, at the Academy we take that statement very seriously. Its even in our Code of Ethics as Crystal Healers that we agree to abide by.

And a transaction is not just about money. Its about transacting energy. It’s about interacting with other people, with another being. Any interaction:

  • coming into a space
  • speaking with someone
  • exchanging services
  • exchanging a look
  • exchanging a book. (Is this starting to sound like Dr. Seuss?)

dr seuss

But, please be responsible for the energy you bring into a transaction of any sort.

Not everybody gets to graduate as a Hibiscus Moon Certified Crystal Healer just because they enrolled in my course. Just like in a University that has any integrity (& a lot of them are losing that these days), if you don’t uphold the values & principles of that University, or you don’t get the grades that you need, you show poor behavior, poor character; you’re not going to graduate from that institution. And rightly so. Because where would the integrity go while the other people that have graduated & earned a degree from that University did do all to uphold that integrity? The clout that that degree carries, the expectations behind it would be completely absent if anybody who paid the bill got to graduate. How unethical would that be? It would cheapen it for everybody & everyone would know that the diploma was meaningless. It would be a joke if you showed up with a degree from Yale if everybody could get one just by paying for it!

So, I feel very strongly that there should be accountability, assessment, integrity & showing a good example with any institution that a lightworker graduates & earns credentials from. That’s just how I feel. And I feel confident in saying that our Hibiscus Moon Certified Crystal Healers feel the same way. They feel very strongly & very proud about the certification they received from HMCA because of that.

90 Seconds to Happiness

No, this isn’t some middle school make-out game! Ha!

So, something’s got you upset & you’re about to exchange words with someone – & I recently learned this…my beloved Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor says to “Take 90 seconds” – she calls it “90 Seconds to Happiness”. You take 90 seconds to process before you react. This gives time for your “anger hormones” that auto-trigger you to flow through your system & dissipate. The key is to REMEMBER to do it…that’s the hard part. The other part is easy, right?

I then recommend (if you can remember…and boy do I try) ask yourself,

“Am I coming from heart center? Is this reaction coming from a place of compassion & understanding?”

– Some of you like to call it Christ Consciousness.

“Is this reaction going to allow for the greatest good for all involved? Does this reaction have nothing to do with the person or being I’m about to react with?

Could it be something else is going on causing you to react in an inappropriate way to this situation?


For instance, you’re a lightworker, teacher or healer & you’re about to work with a client or facilitate a circle & you’re reacting to something that happened previously or has triggered something; has nothing to do with this person. Check that energy at the door! You must be able to do this.

I feel that if you don’t have the ability to do that on a regular basis, not every single time, but on a regular basis (70% of the time) then you need to work on that before you work on others.

Has someone ever warned you, “Hey, you know, you’re being a little negative, or over-reacting, can we check that?” Does that just make you more angry? Very defensive & you have no control over that? Then, you may not be ready to do this work.

And I’m sorry if this offends you, and I’m sorry if this pushes your buttons and I’m sorry if this triggers you. But, if it does, there’s something to look at there.

I feel we do need to have control of these emotions about 70% of the time if you really want to do this work. No, it’s not for everybody. And that’s OK.

We all need to work on this

And for some reason, this is harder to do with those we feel most comfy with. Boy, do I know that! With those we’re more guarded with we simply behave better. Yeah, I’m pointing the finger at myself. Some are in better control & don’t have to work as hard. I strive for that & am working on it everyday.

So, how often is this your issue? Do you have a lot of conflicts with a lot of different people, often? You know, is there a lot of conflict going on between you & most of the people in your life? Then maybe we need to look within.

You can’t change all those people. Yeah, they might be difficult. You can’t do a single thing to change them.

The only thing you can change is you & your choices & your reactions. That’s the only thing you have power over.

No, we’re not all cut out to do this. It’s not for everybody. But I do think that everybody has it within them to change that….IF THEY WANT TO.

Please do feel free to share your stories, comments & respectful opinions below. I want to hear what you think & so do others, Lima Bean!


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Comments 66

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      Hibiscus Moon

      Mani, its not common sense as that would mean that its a “given” & people just know to check themselves at the door or when making “transactions” with others…but they don’t. I’ve seen it too much & that’s why I felt the need to post about it.

  1. Tia

    Love this post! You are spot on! While I’m a Virgo, I’m a fire element by heart and I had to learn to check my anger at the door. Being a light worker, teacher, and healer has helped me tremendously. It also helped me to understand that not all people will be light workers.

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  2. Mary Ellen gracia DeCosta

    Yes, I fully can you possibly create a better energy field for someone if your own is not in check…how can you heal with love if you retain anger…I try to drink some water before a healing to flush out any residual energy from anything, I believe this client needs my full attention, it is their time….I generally let a client vent if they have too..then I sweep the room with my hands and tell them I am releasing all that into the universe to be transmuted..I have one older client who barely speaks English, she gets a kick out of that, and her payment to me personally is when we smiles at me…because she never is happy according to her daughter..I love being a light worker!!! Bring it on universe, let the love shine through!

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  3. Krista

    Beautifully said! It is freedom of choice and this life is not for everyone. There are moments that I ask myself is this “REEEAAAALLLYYY for me?” especially on those days I run into the doubting Thomas who has the answers to everything and nothing. At those times I take in a deep breath and say “YES I IT IS!” I have spent my life being different and not being the same as others but finally I fit in! I found my niche! Reiki, crystals, nature, feeling life force energy coursing through my body…yep, yep! You are correct when you say it is work…I became disconnected during the holiday’s and I’m just realizing that is it. All is good I’m back on track. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts HM! Hugs, Love, Laughter & Light!

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  4. Sarah S.

    A great, much needed reminder!! This can be directed at both healers and those that just want to spread around their beliefs and causes too. I know some, who in their aggravated passion for a cause, be it negative, they go about it putting more fear and hurt into it, which raises my hair. I can’t help but remind them that if they go about from their hearts and nonjudgementally, that their efforts will be a lot more positive. But it mostly just goes over their heads, oh well. Can’t blame one for trying!

  5. Edwina

    I really appreciate this article and your courage in putting it out there.

    What does it mean to be a lightworker?

    In my understanding it would be to bring light (truth, forgiveness, healing) to an otherwise dark place or situation.

    But unfortunately I feel it’s become something of a catchphrase and a permission slip to not be completely honest with oneself about the darkness in our own psyche’s.

    Maybe we’re meant to learn to be our own lightworker before taking on the task of facilitating another’s healing.

    It’s actually pretty scary to think that anyone would want to be part of someone else’s healing journey without having gone through their own first.

    Taking part in a few weekend workshops does not a healer (or teacher) make.

    My absolute favourite teachers are those that call me on my s**t. Tell me what I can’t see about myself. What are my blindspots? Love it.

    Discernment (and huge loads of honesty) comes into play here. Would I want my energy to influence another’s in their healing? I can think of a lot of times when that would be a loud “heck, no!”.

    It’s OK to not be in perfect love and alignment. There’s nothing wrong in admitting there are parts of ourselves that still need working on. It shows great self-awareness and is a step towards becoming the lightworker that many of us wish to aspire to.

  6. Kimi AutumnStarMoon

    Thank you so much for this message! I have currently been working on understanding the true depth of this concept in my own life, and through doing so, have been seeing amazing results. It is SO true that the energy you put out to the universe is the same energy that you will receive back into your own life. The more grateful you are, the more things you will find to be grateful for. The more loving you are, the more you feel and see love in your own life. One of my favorite teachers has said that it is important to see everyone on a “soul-to-soul” level, meaning that we should take the time to recognize the beautiful and perfect spirit within every living thing. Even when we feel at odds with the choices and actions of others, remembering that in our essence, we are all of the same Source is a game-changer. Being patient, compassionate, and loving toward all living beings is how we change the world.

    I have found it interesting in my own personal path, that the more I learn to have unconditional love for myself, the more I find myself able to release judgments about others, and see the love and light that is within us all. I have heard the phrase “you create your reality” so many times, and to me, this is what it is all about. I am choosing to create my reality in unconditional love, and it is changing my life! Thank you once again for being brave and sharing this message. It is one that we can all benefit from hearing! 😀 <3

  7. Vivian

    HM, I am really glad you posted this, and the video on FB. Even when we already know these things, it is good to be occasionally reminded. I have been doing self work lately because of conflict with my teenage son, and also some behaviors of my own. I realize first and foremost, if I want to heal, I MUST be healthy physically, mentally and emotionally. ;O)

  8. facebook_pattie.mulderig

    Thank you so much for this post! I’m not perfect at this either, but as soon as I notice myself sliding into anger and negativity about it, I try to back away, breathe, and come back from a different angle. I’m a work in progress. 🙂

  9. Veronica Verona

    This post is very timely. I have found this to be true and when the resistance to best practices starts in someone who wants to be an energy worker, it’s time to let them find their own way on the subject.

  10. Jessica Garcia

    Hey Stephanie! Bravo on the blog post! During class, I loved the fact that you brought the quote regarding being responsible for the energy…this totally goes both ways in my office :0) Being a Reiki Master Teacher, CCH and Angel Channeler, I simply cannot do my work if my Ego has control over me-I become blocked and it is physically unsafe for me to channel healing energy or messages! (due to becoming ungrounded, stuck in my brain, etc.) As Healers/Lightworkers, we work with our Guides in order to bring healing to the client-this work is not the place to stand upon a soapbox and preach! it is the place to be loving, full of light and compassion and understanding-totally anti ego! This will spread into everyday life and we walk in peace and light. You are a wonderful example of this as an expert/teacher of Crystal Healing-you focus on getting the info to us as clearly as possible with a TON of passion behind it! (hope this makes sense, some of it was channeled) Thanks for being who you are!!! Jessica

  11. Victoria Spears

    Very well stated! I totally agree with what you said! We all have this to work on. Anger will only create more anger, whereas love can create miracles. Thank you for your truth, for the truth! <3

  12. Sylvia

    I would like to think that anyone who isn’t au fait with this concept wouldn’t have found you in the first place. But the thing about cleansing yourself before working on anyone should be taught, as real beginners might not have thought of it, so you would teach it, Yes? Love your passion, HM….Love you…XX

  13. Monika Mundell

    Rock on sista! I love your message in this post. I’ve always been an advocate for keeping the weeds in the mind pruned and plucked. It works. And it takes little time. Just effort – every single day. Jim Rohn said it nicely when he said, “Nourish the mind like you would your body. The mind cannot survive on junk food.”

    BTW, check your email please – I just sent you a guest post. 🙂

  14. Tina

    I LOVE this post, Hibiscus. It is so true, every last word of it. I wish that it was common sense as Mani suggested, but unfortunately that’s just not the case. So many allow themselves to be completely ruled by their emotions – I know it first hand because I dealt with that myself for many, many years. It took me a long time to finally come to the realization that the only thing I truly can control is myself, my reactions, and how I choose to handle situations. That realization truly turned my life around and I want to help others see that as well.

  15. Paula

    Thank you!! I think we all need to be reminded of this message on a regular basis. I strive every day to make sure I’m putting my best self forward in all things I do. I have a bit of a temper and through work with my crystals and a lot of soul searching I’ve gotten so much better! I think it’s important to always make sure you’re bringing the energy into a space that you want out of it. If you want a happy atmosphere YOU have to put that out or you’ll never get it back. Thank you for your blog! I love reading the emailed posts I get!! They always make me smile!

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    Hibiscus Moon

    Wow! I am amazed at all the feedback to this post already. It’s obviously struck a nerve & I hope it reaches those who need to hear it most in the most loving way possible. Thank you all for your input & shared advice. It is indeed much appreciated & NEEDED!♥

  17. tjs

    I totally agree with the sentiments in this blog post, Hibiscus and I thank you for writing it. I hope it appears to people who need to read it because I think it’s well and clearly stated while also being compassionate.

    Teachers do have to make judgments about where their students are at with the material *and* with how they are going to use the material learned. I appreciate that it’s important to you to certify those who are ready to do the work and give extra time for those who are not ready to do the work.

  18. Diana

    Good Morning! this information is always relevant. It reminds me of the story of Sister Theresa and the Anti-War Movement. When they asked her to participate, she declined, saying when you have a Pro-Peace Movement, I’ll be there. Personally, I react to everyone with “bless your heart”–at all times– I find that to be appropriate. As far as crystals go, I find that wearing black tourmaline helps deal with anger, whether internal or external, such a joy to be able to rely on. Also, invoking the voilet flame will transmute negativity, sometimes it simply needs to be dealt with. Love and peace, Diana

  19. Krissy Becking

    I 100% agree with what you said. I am a Level II Healing Touch student but haven’t done any light work in over a year because my own health hasn’t permitted it. Along with this a lot of anger and negativity surrounded me.My reactions to what other people would do were ridiculous. My problem…severe hormone imbalance! Since I have been working on this for the last 2 weeks, which includes the use of crystals my life and health have shifted. I no longer react negatively or hatefully toward other people or situations. I’m still in for a long haul with my wonderful hormones, but i’m on my way and ready to continue with my education. I am very uplifted by your blog, thank you!

  20. Marcy

    I absolutely love this post. You’re right, this issue did need to be addressed. I’ve seen this happen way more than it should where a ‘Lightworker’ was negative, disrespectful, hurtful, mean, rude,etc. I always think to myself, “Wow, there’s so much negativity in the spiritual community these days. People sure do have some big egos.” Now, I’m not perfect and I have to work on it daily as well, but the point is that I’m working on it. And I’ve learned a lot and come a long way. Things that use to set me off no longer have control over me. People that are rude, hurtful, etc that I use to get into arguments with, no longer get under my skin like they used to. Now I just walk away. The way I see it is that they can keep their negativity. I don’t want it and I don’t need it. Like you said, you can’t change them and their behavior/attitude, but you can change how you react to them. So, that’s what I strive to do. Like I said before, I’m not perfect and sometimes I slip up, but I’m a work in progress 🙂

    Crystal Blessings Steph and thanks to writing this post.

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  21. Layne

    Great post….all of us, light worker or not, need to follow this advice. It can make a difference in your own life and also make you much kinder to those around you.

  22. Linda

    I understand the anger thing. Being a Reiki Master for several years now has increased my sensitivity to both positive and negative emotions. For me, I remove these negative jabs as soon as I sense them and send them into to the abyss. I cover myself in protection before leaving the house or having a session. The positive, I roll around in, just like my pooches in the warm summer sunshine. I always try to give thanks to my higher power for the day or situation and ask my guides to be clear with what ever message I am meant to receive. I use crystals in my practice and every day life. I am building a medicine wheel with rocks I find speaking to me. Life is so darn good!!! Thanks for all of your information, it helps greatly! Oh and the weather here in Wyoming is Blizzard conditions can’t see two feet in front of your face and wind chill of minus 15. Ok Fla. you look mighty fine to me!

  23. Susie

    I love the “Take 90 seconds” idea. It is always good to have time to process a situation and then we are less likely to react. Not that we should be door mats! But it is easier to work through the situation. One thing I have learned to do, and love, before starting the day, meeting with someone, or sometimes just going to the store, is to ground myself and cleanse my energy. This is something I share with my friends and they always come back for more! So I agree that we need to keep ourselves in check and it doesn’t hurt to be reminded. Keep on following your heart! Peace out.

  24. Chan

    Hibiscuis Moon, thank you so much for saying this. This really needed to be said. You are completely right its not for everyone. The words you spoke have always been the way i’ve felt about how i interact with others and what i expect in return from them. Am i always right no, do i correct myself and the situation when i error Yes! I strive to do better and be better in my actions toward my fellow man every day. Now, I always thought i was strange in my thought because some around me would say its not fair or right for me to expect a certain respect from another being. Let people be as they are. Lol! I beg to differ. I allow people to be as they are. But that doesnt include a downright lack of respect for another human being. Sorry that stinking thinking has always been and always will be strange and out of order to me. So i dont accept in. In return I have began to draw more like minded people to me. I am happy for this. Thank you for your words.

  25. sharon

    I loved this post, it certainly struck a chord with me. About 3 years ago 2 of my dearest freinds and I opened a healing center, my dreams come true. Whilst this was going on my family could not find it in their heart to be happy for me and through their negativity eventually found ways to disown me. Whilst this was going on and my attention was elsewhere egos were growing in my business and I was kicked to the kerb. I ended up having a breakdown which I am recovering from. Long story short, the hardest thing for me me was to realize I was not in a position to be a healer anymore due to everything you discussed. I had to step back from 10 years of healing and start healing myself (thanks for the help by the way). Sometimes we cannot be a healer and have to acknowledge this. Thanks for saying this outloud.

  26. su

    thank you for this timely reminder i am a reiki master /lightworker and live next to a very negative woman i try not to put any energy into how she makes me feel if i pass her outside i smile which is returned by her scowling at me i also draw reiki symbols in the air on our dividing wall and send love and light to her (i have my own nickname for when i mix white protective light with pink loving light i say i send you raspberry ripples )

  27. Lisa

    This reminds me of a Hawai’ian healing technique called Ho’oponopono. Some day I’ll get to attend a workshop but I’ve been practising the ‘prayer’ to be said every time a negative thought or feeling comes up. Ho’oponopono is all about taking responsibility for yourself – for your perception of the world and for all the things in it that annoy you. The ‘prayer’ or mantra is directed to the Divine and goes as follows:
    I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you.
    It takes you back to a place of love, being sorry for the perception that has momentarily caused you to buy into the separateness from the Divine, asking for forgiveness and knowing that it is instantly given – hence the thank you.
    Sometimes I forget, but on the whole, whenever something challenging has come up, this prayer has helped me feel calmer and more able to work out what has me worked up and why. Then I can do something about it. 🙂
    And thank YOU for a thought-provoking post! Namaste.

  28. Mary Jane Allen

    Hi! I couldn’t agree more!! I hear you, boy do I hear you! This is something I have struggled with from time to time, but my gosh, I know, at least it’s my opinion :), that as light workers we really need to approach the difficult, the negative and things that just drive us MAD with love, from our heart and the point of view of our Higher Self, not the lower self. In my view, it’s the only real lasting way to change the world! Together, we light workers can move mountains!

    Love and Blessings,
    Mary Jane Allen 🙂 xo

  29. Brooke Rosenblum

    Thank you for this post! All was so valid and with good intention, which I admire. Lots of truth bombs 🙂
    I love the idea of taking 90 seconds.. it’s not easy for many. I usually am pretty good at keeping quiet in tough situations until I’ve evaluated it from each end but I see all the time around me that it is otherwise. That is a great actionable task to put a halt to any unnecessary negative energy leaks 😉

  30. Tanya H.

    Wow – I totally love this post. It reminded me why I need to stay positive and avoid negative people and things. Maybe I need to quit going to “work” on Fridays – those places are full of toxic people and energy…

  31. joni

    Perfect timing for this message. Thanks so much. Perfect reminder to always clear oneself prior and after any work. Just like our lustrous crystals we too can pick up negative energy.. The trick is to not carry it into our lives. Thanks for a great lesson. Peace, Love and Light

  32. Pingback: When are you ready to heal others? - HERBAL HEALTH CENTRAL

  33. Nicholas


    Beautiful Blog ! I agree 100 % – I take people as they come – and sometimes there is no time for the 90 sec rule (which is a very good one) for me – I’ve had a lot of particularly nasty energies up close and personal this Mercury Retrograde – and I’ve realized (God Willing, I’ve realized) that it’s all about me Loving Myself Fully – in other words, trusting myself – if what somebody says to me feels off – I’ll state my truth and that’ll be the end of it – sometimes there’s a fine line between stating your truth and reacting – but if you can stay on stating your truth (at least 70 % of the time, as you say- which I feel also is a good number to strive for), then whatever you say in any given situation will be channeled and therefore pure and not overwhelmed by emotion and “triggers”, even if you don’t say it “perfectly”. So, this is my “two cents worth”, and I mean it totally as a healthy contribution to your discussion. Have a most pleasant day, Miss Hibiscus 🙂

  34. Rokeya

    I agree that you need to check negative energy at the door before working on someone. I have had horrible experiences with picking up negativity from the energy worker and felt horrible after. This is also why I have left the last class go. I had a very negative experience and it brought me into a bad place. I am smart enough to know that this is NOT the time to delve into working on anyone. I need to work on myself.
    On another note I get irked by many “healers” that profess that they are so perfectly centered. It is a natural human emotional experience that is part of us. Much like crying and and laughing. Sometimes we all get mad. It is in how we handle it that makes us better people and centered. Why else do we have Crystals for grounding and Sage for dispelling negative energy.. human beings are not perfect. Agreed that you cannot see a client if you are off balance. It is a give and take. Aggravation and anger happens but that does NOT define that person. Unfair to peg someone who may have had felt comfortable to express their anger or frustration in what they felt was a safe haven only to be judged. Judgement is as bad or worse than anger. If you have a problem with a student or person, let them know. You owe them that much.

  35. Rokeya

    This was a great blog. I have been worked on by people that left me feeling horrible after a session. I am almost done with my 3 clients for graduation. I did the first one and it was AMAZING!! I had the next 2 scheduled for the following weekend but my teenaged son had a major meltdown and I had to be Mom and deal with his energy. I felt drained and rescheduled the people. It would have been irresponsible for me to try and ‘fake it’ through a very sacred healing. I am now able to work on these people. I was not angry but I knew my energy needed resetting. When I graduate I will be able to have a separate place to practice and get into a frame of mind and spirit before working on clients. This is so very important that you posted this blog and are responsible for passing people through. It is a two way energy exchange and you absolutely CANNOT be an angry, negative person to do this work. Kudos to you for not passing everyone to graduate. We must stay heart centered and mindful of our energies before EVER working on someone. It must be pure love. My first client is done and it was so amazing for both of us. I was centered and calm. I LOVE Crystal healing!

  36. Claudette Leblanc

    Crystal blessing to you on this beautiful morning
    For me the hardest part was to rememder to take the 90 seconds. In the past my body and mouth ( loll) would react before my brain knew i was going to react. By emerging myself body and soul into my Reiki studies and getting my Master, all this beautiful new knowledge has helped me tremendously. As you say it is a work in progress everyday. Now i `louse` it maybe one or twice a year and even then i will remember very quickly who i am. So keep shinning.I truely love your teachings

  37. Cris

    Everyone has their own truth…we are a sum of our cumulative experiences. When you realize people react with what they know, the support system they have to work with and they are doing the best they can then…you can learn to listen without judgment. I have an ex that is so intelligent, bright, awesome at his job~but since our divorce he has hated life. He is so vindictive it has affected every part of every relationship that he has..even with our children. But I don’t think he sees it. I think it’s sad that he has let his anger towards me be at the center of his being.

  38. Moriah

    I completely agree. I have struggled with anger issues for a lot of years. Actually most people who know me would tell you I am like a venomous snake with a migraine. My boyfriend tells me all the time, “Baby I loved you before but since this new change of heart and personality, it is much easier being around you. It is refreshing. You still don’t let people walk on you but you don’t destroy their self esteem in 2.5 seconds flat when they upset you.” I was really bad. I worked with a whole crew of men and they got me moved because they were all scared of me. Lol. I still kinda find that funny (based on my size). But I have toned it down so much and so easily that it has amazed me. I never wanted to be angry. I hated being angry and screaming at people. I went through a phase of sleeping 18 hours a day just to allow others a chance at a peaceful day. I recognized the issue but somehow couldn’t control it. Yes anger can get quick results at times but the long lasting effect not only on your victim but on yourself is enormous. I hated myself for my anger. I am mostly respected by my peers but only based on fear of making me get big and green.GRRR! Lol. I am so so so happy that I do not have those issues anymore. And no I am not bottling it up inside either. I meditate now. I sit at the edge of the lake by my home and I focus on the anger and the guilt and the negativity, and I ball it up into this huge green gelatinous, burbling ball, and then I visualize holding it in my hands, arms spread wide, and then i push it into the water. I let it go, submersed and out of my reach. After I am done with this I feed some bread to the fish as thanks for letting me disperse my problems into their home, and for getting rid of it for me. Then I am fine. I don’t go all hulk anymore and I don’t hate myself anymore. Would I like to be a light worker? Yes I really would. Do I think I can? Yes I do. Am I ready for it? No, I do not believe I am. I still need to work on it to make sure it don’t bounce back at me. As in most things I will “feel” when I am ready. And as of now I am not. Thank you Hibiscus Moon for this blog post. Blessed Be!

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  40. Destrie Larrabee

    As a life-long practitioner of non-violence, and a past employee of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for Social Change in Atlanta, GA; an educator modeling peaceful learning/teaching in a safe environment; as a certified Trainer of the Program: Alternatives to Violence, and trained and certified by those people who designed and trained the activists for Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Non-Violent approach to Social Change – the Kingian Nonviolence Program – and a certified Mediator and Trainer of the New Mexico Center for Dispute Resolution Peer Mediation Program – well I could go on. My point is this: I felt that I wasn’t heard when I spoke from my heart and walked my talk – that I needed degrees and certifications before the non-violent approach to teaching/learning/living was supported. And, while all of these amazing opportunities did broaden my ability to reach people, it only proved to support what my heart was saying all of the time. As my Mom always said, and I, being the middle daughter, always listened, “Treat others as you want them to treat you, and always – always – leave Mother Earth better than when you found her!” I have never been able to physically hit out in anger, or, even raise my voice. It does this really odd creaky sounding thing that causes laughter, which, really, almost always leads to a better outcome. But it has been my nature to listen, watch, and problem solve, and if asked, share some possible solutions/actions/next steps. The point is to do no further harm and to go forward. I hear people trying to force others to apologize for, or “take back”, something said or done. I believe that once out it can’t be taken back, unsaid, or undone. You can’t do over, but you can try to “Do Better!” It gives everyone a chance to go forward-if that’s what she or he wants. Which leads me to my final point.
    I love the “90 Seconds to Happiness” Process you shared. This gets to the most vital point of all. Do you want to do something different? Some people enjoy being in their anger, some don’t even realize it. This is a great self-test. I am a visual learner and learned this actually at a workshop dealing with the effects the use of alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs have on your brain, but it actually works perfectly for showing how one’s brain works, and a barometer as to where one is at any given moment – if you care enough to check! Holding out your arm, hand in a fist and arm bent up at the elbow; encircle your raised wrist with the fingers of your free hand. “This is your brain – not on drugs! The wrist part is the Brain Stem, the oldest part of the brain, tells you to fight or flight – instantaneous response to a dangerous situation. Just above the wrist is the center part of your brain – it’s kind of a holding section engaged if you can stop in this situation and engage your brain instead of staying in the fight/flight section. The upper part of the fist part of your hand is literally where the highest level of thinking takes place in your brain. ONLY ONE PART OF THE BRAIN CAN FUNCTION AT A TIME. So, if you are in a situation that causes you anger, fear – you are going to either fight or run. UNLESS you step back (take 90 seconds!) let your brain start shifting up from the stem and into your higher/highest level of thinking, and think about your options BEFORE YOU ACT! And, it’s OK if you say, “You know, I need some time to think about this. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
    These are great tools for one’s toolbox, but can only be used when they are known and PRACTICED!!! And there needs to be a level of caring in order to take the extra step to engage your highest brain. At first, students discuss how it’s important to do a brain check because they care for their classmates (I’m talking about students Pre-K through Life!) but they soon realize that it’s important to check their brain because they care about themselves first – about the consequences of their actions!
    As an Educator/Facilitator/Rehab. Counselor/Peer Mediator/child/sister/wife/Mom/Light Healer-Facilitator I totally agree that, in order to be one’s most effective, one must be there – in The Present Moment – for everyone who has chosen to be there. And I am an on going, evolving, ever learning, growing and changing person – the result of 61 years of active living and learning – with the continuous help of all of my loving family, friends, guides, and angels. And, before I enter into any helping/facilitating/problem-solving situation, I perform a brain check and then proceed with my protection/blessing process. I owe it to myself and to those who come to me! Thank you so much for so eloquently supporting this very appropriate code of ethics, because if we can’t be there 100% for those who come to us, we shouldn’t be.

    Yours in Infinite Love, Gratitude, and Peace Destrie

  41. Fay Kelley

    As far as the duality part of it … good impulse control, good personal and professional boundaries, good personal insight and clarity, of course, are all good ideas.

    Personally I believe that we are all perfect souls who have come here to temporarily forget about some of the perfection, take on human bodies and difficult egos, and we all experience that struggle. I would like to think that everyone has the potential to be a Lightworker. Some know that now, and others are just not awake at this time, and some will not be. But they could be.

    Each is on their path, and all is well. My belief is when we reach the other side there really is no judgment. All will be well then too.

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  43. Louisa Hoy

    I think what you have said to be so true. But I also think self healing takes a life time and if in part of that life time we can help to heal others then surely this is ok to.
    I had a dream once and was told my job at this present is a lightworker that I have the ability to help many. At times it can seem a little over whelming and taking a step back maybe necessary.
    I have done so many courses it’s insane but all was really part of my self work but then I ended up helping others.
    I think it is important to be positive about the work we do and yes maybe it’s not right for everyone but surely any help to create light and serve should be admired.
    I am currently completing my crystal diploma on module 22 out of 24 in the UK and really proud of that but maybe instead of judging others we can help them.
    I agree it shouldn’t be so easy to pass everyone but then again shouldn’t we be trying to help those who are struggling with it instead of condemning them. They probably feel bad enough about failing or not finishing their course or diploma.
    I think what I am saying is that this post although true is also quite judgemental and negative and I don’t think that is necessarily a good thing.
    Surely we should be inspiring others and I don’t think this does that. There are some really sensitive people out there and I think that we all need to remember that. If I had failed your course and read this it would make me feel really upset and then that negativity comes back to you and maybe that is not a good thing.
    I hope you understand where I am coming from. At these times we are trying to live at a higher level of unconditional love that involves helping people who wish to learn in a way that is right for them. Many thanks x

  44. Cheryl

    Thanks for sharing so truthfully. I am signed up in your course and really enjoy what I am learning. I am behind in the material because my husband is battling cancer and it has decided to become aggressive again. In my heart I know this is something I need to learn right now but it may take me a little longer to finish the course than I originally thought.

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  46. Tonia

    I agree completely. I’m not a crystal worker but I am a Reiki practitioner and teacher. I spent 3 years at level one Reiki. Why? Because I truly believe level one is the most important of all levels because it is the level where you work on yourself. So many of us have years of negative programming. For most of us it’s a challenge to get out of those behaviors. I agree that to the best of our abilities we need to work on ourselves and continue to do so first before working on others.

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  48. Mary Nadeau

    WOW!! You scared there for a minute before I started reading your blog! But you hit the nail right on the head!! We are all of one light and are all are apart of not just Mother Earth but the Universe. Unfortunately many do not believe that and in turn harm/destroy all that is good in this world.
    But on another note, I must say I do have trouble expressing my feelings to make myself understood. It does interfere with my relationship with my hubby. I’ve been working on stopping and really thinking of the right words to say. It’s like that take 90 second thing. Since I’ve been totally LOVING the course and learning sooo much I’m able to incorporate the blue stones to help with my 5th Chakra. Sorry for the novel. LOL
    Thank you for the blog. It does make you stop and think about how you conduct yourself.

  49. Violet Burke

    Personal responsibility! A concept today’s day and age just doesn’t teach anymore, but I have faith we can bring it back! As my cousin always says “breathing is the most important part of life” and for soooooo many reasons this is true! Rock on Hibiscus Moon for this topic, it is PERFECT!

  50. Sophia

    Thank you for your timely post. It’s beautifully written. I feel it is truly necessary to guide people to work on themselves first. In that regard, I feel the apologies for writing this was unnecessary. The truth can be challenging but don’t apologize for it. I believe in speaking the truth with love and respect for others. And you did that.

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